Parent Madness Search

I wonder how many more years I'll still be carrying sleeping kids upstairs.

The dog tried to eat steel wool this evening. Apparently it was time for dinner.

My son's logic on Frozen: Kristoff should have just taken Anna to the really hot sauna that was right by Elsa's castle.

Acts of God

During every big storm: Yes I'm sure our house is not going to get blown away. No we're not going to get struck by lightning or get flooded.

But how.. what.. nevermind.

Tonight's adventure is brought to you by my son, who dropped fingernail clippers into a #2 unflushed toilet.


Our little guy has been saying "whassat?" and pointing at everything.

My favorite is when he sees food on your plate that he wants, he goes "whassat? AAAAAHHHHHH" and even has his tongue hanging out.

CSI At Home

Someone left a sunscreen hand print on the wall.

Time to line up the usual suspects and see whose hand fits the crime

Opposite Day

Dad: Ok, if we go to McDonalds and you don't get a shake, what flavor are you not going to get?

Son: Well today is opposite day so I am NOT going to get a chocolate shake!

Dad: Hmm the force strong with this one.


Please fasten child securely in grocery cart so they can squirm around backwards and get stuck.

Nature boy

Kind of feel like running naked and yelling swear words in the house at 1 am since we have no kids here!

The barbie channels

Wow. On demand has an entire category for Barbie movies.

Eyes cream

Son: If you got ice cream in your eye, would it hurt?
Dad: No, ice cream is made of chopped up eyes, that's why they call it eyes cream.

Raking water

Sometimes cleaning the house is like trying to push water uphill with a rake.

Get lost cupid!

One of the boys in my dauther's class made a valentine ONLY FOR THE GIRLS of him making a kiss face and hearts floating in the sky.

He is now officially BLACKLISTED.

Drop and give me 20 minutes

First Saturday in months we can sleep in. If any of my children wakes me up early, I am sending them to military school.

Does God cover data plans?

Mom, can you send text messages to people that are in heaven?

Or spaghioli?

Hey Dad if you mix ravioli and spaghettios it's raviolios!

Uranus sounds funny

Dad: What's your favorite planet? Son: I have two, Earth and Uranus. Me: What do you like so much about Uranus? Son: It just sounds funny! (Me trying so hard not to laugh)

Shoe drama

My teenage 8 year old was crying over losing her favorite pair of socks, and is now giddy over how much she loves her new dress shoes. Wow.

Deep pockets

Mom: Can you call my phone? I can't find it. (Dad calls phone) (Mom's pocket starts ringing)

Kid overload

Four Dads twelve kids and a Gramma at the movies. Yes we're crazy.

So it begins

A boy called and asked if my oldest daughter could come over. Anybody got a shotgun?

Sweet sorry

Such a sweet girl. Oldest daughter was in trouble for being crabby, so she went into our room, straightened up our bed and left a sorry note!

Private bites

Tried to convince the kids we should move to the forest and be nudists. (aka no more laundry) They said we can't or we'd get mosquito bites on our privates. They may have won that argument.