Parent Madness Search

Run Away!!!

At the doctor's, our boy/girl twins were stripped to underwear getting ready for their immunization shot in the butt.
The boy went first, and after he screamed in pain the girl pulled her pants up as fast as she could and backed into the corner of the room!

Butt Chapstick

Son: Dad, my butt hurts.
Dad: You probably didn't wipe good enough after going to the bathroom.
Son: I need some butt Chapstick!


Son: Dad... Dad! DAAADDD!!! Dad: WHAT??? Son: I just threw up in my mouth a little! Dad: Oh. Um... that's great. Son: And then I swallowed it back down!

Party On!

Dad: My son went into the bathroom where his daughters were going potty, dropped his pants and shouted "LET'S GET THIS PARTY STARTED!!"

Mommy Pimples

Daughter: Mom you have pimples on your boobs!
Mom: ... You mean nipples??
Daughter: Yeah nipples! (hee hee) I have nipples too, but you have boobs and nipples!

Money where your mouth is

Daddy: I went to do the nightly toothbrush check, and found a quarter and nickel in my daughter's mouth!